Some “parents” have only one goal in mind and that is to use children as weapons against the other parent. There is no thought process in allowing these children to turn into independent adults with positive goals in life focusing on the wonderful discovery as to what they can be as adults. Their only function, in the life of a parent capable of using children in this manner, is as weapons against the other parent as THAT is the only tool they have, in particular when the other parent refuses to deal with them in any capacity to prevent re-occurring abuse.
Every thought and every action of this parent is geared towards plotting how, where and in what manner these children can be perpetuated as weapons. This parent wakes up in the morning and begins to plot as to what can be done next to eradicate the other parent from their children’s lives as that is the only obsession and goal in this parent’s life, as revenge against the other parent for leaving them. Any and all contact including phone contact is denied at all cost, or children are used as tools of abuse to verbally abuse the other parent mirroring the exact language and inflection this obsessive parent has used against the other parent on a constant day to day basis. The children in this scenario of course have to protect themselves as they know what the response is to expressing any affection towards the other parent in the presence of the obsessive psychotic parent or in a household where the obsessive hatred and vindictive behavior against the other parent is the norm.
If these children do express any affection in any capacity towards the other parent, the volume and incidences of abuse against the other parent increase astronomically as the obsessive parent literally takes it as an extreme threat to their own identity if children dare to express that they love the other parent. Their whole being is focused on ensuring that the obsessive parent is the ONLY person in these children’s lives no matter how unhealthy, degenerate and obsessive their behavior is and the resulting thought process is if they cannot have these children then NO ONE will.
There is no emotional responsiveness to meeting the needs of the children in the dynamic of this household, where children are raised, as their only function is to be used as vindictive retaliation tools against the other parent.
As parents our number one goal and priority is to ensure that our children are fostered and stimulated to grow up in the most optimal environment possible, to allow them to grow into fully functional adults capable of positive and healthy relationships.
The obsessive parent capable of using children in this manner of course justifies his/her behavior to themselves as normal societal boundaries do not factor in their thought process. It is a severe form of mental illness as no parent who genuinely loves their children would be capable of harming children in this manner. Children are brainwashed to believe that the other parent is at fault for the actions of the obsessive parent and are groomed that the learned behavior to act as a weapon and tools against the other parent is normal, perpetuating generational and cyclical abuse. To no surprise any child raised in this manner is at increased risk of substance abuse, spousal abuse and criminal behavior.