Anyone who has experienced a divorce is familiar with toxic relationships. Attorneys are not immune from the impact of these relationships. That includes the negative impact of a parent on an attorney child.
One such example is a parent called Lawrence, who is the parent of an attorney (Timothy)who practices in the Coachella Valley. This parent has an unbelievably detrimental and negative influence on this attorney and all of his personal relationships and friendships. The negative influence extends to the same behavior of this parent to any potential relationships that this attorney may have as all his experiences have been colored by the interaction of this parent. According to Lawrence any potential relationship is characterized as “sick scum” and the entire world has to revolve around Lawrence and the negative emotional relationship that he has with the attorney son. Lawrence prohibits that this son has any normal relationship with devastating consequences for anyone who prefers to have a positive life style, with successes both professionally and personally.
Lawrence hides that his former wife was an alcoholic and has appointed himself as a superior person personally and professionally. He is cold emotionally and refuses to accept anyone in his family unless they are subject to his daily scrutiny and interfering comments. Comments abound that other people have a tainted gene pool when Lawrence has certain personal characteristics that are based on genetic inheritance. Lawrence refuses to accept that there may have been an issue with a marriage at some stage due to his behavior, as Lawrence cannot be at fault in any capacity.
Lawrence is an alcoholic and claims that only the ex-wife is alcoholic and that the attorney son was removed from the alcoholic ex-wife. His life has been characterized by the various bulimic alcoholic binges that he goes on and he has beaten his son with a belt. Lawrence does not have a personal relationship with anyone but his son and feeds on the vicious emotional cruel games. These games are geared towards the impact that the son will never be independent from Lawrence.
The son in turn has never learned how to have a personal relationship with anyone. His behavior is characterized by the refusal to accept any emotional closeness, including from his own daughter. The behavior is geared towards hurting someone on a constant basis so that there is a constant requirement by the other person, in any personal relationship, to demonstrate their love and constant attention. There is a vicious binge dynamic as this son refuses to stop involving people that he is personally involved with and refuses to stop hurting them with cruel emotional games. This behavior extends to the son’s daughter. This son is also an alcoholic and refuses to obtain help.
Lawrence and this son live together as Lawrence has completely enabled this son of being incapable of living on his own. The son merely copies the behavior and the lifestyle of Lawrence.
The son does not have control on the behavior of the people that he associates with. For example, they invade the client files of former clients by looking up the son’s clients and do not attempt to harm the client but also the son. One of these former associates is the son’s ex called Heather, who receives spousal support even though there is not a court order associated with any child. Heather was so desperate to hurt the son, after the son declined to reignite their personal relationship, that she invaded client’s files to harm the son.
he overall impact is that Lawrence sabotages his own son and anyone associated him with his coldness and emotional cruelty. These are learned characteristics that are then passed to the next generation as Lawrence has managed to isolate his entire family to accept his view point only.
The toxic nature of this relationship is insidious. The public image that is presented is very different.
If one falls into the trap of becoming involved with Lawrence and his family it can take several years to realized the insidious nature of this impact unless you have either experienced it before or you have some form of qualification in Psychology.